30.11.07

friday from monday

Greater clarity has led me to note some reflection from Monday’s travels.

Does my time belong to me?
The typical Christian response is quite profound:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Gal 2:20
Jesus doesn’t desire my time, he is my time. Life itself does not belong to me, Christ is my life.

Should the usage of my time be dependent on my circumstances?

How fleshly I am to consider this! If Jesus is everything, my life's goal should be to glorify him in any situation. The options of:
- Sleep
- Work
- Study
- Play
- Outreach
are all beneficial, so how to choose to honour Christ with my time?
Prayer.
Prayer as first choice gives Jesus supremacy in the decisions following. By pausing to ask God how to use my time, strips away my selfish circumstances, to reveal Jesus and his leading.

My practice of prayer falls short from my understanding of its importance, therefore I must continually fall at the feet of Jesus, thank him for his perfect obedience, and invite God to conform me into the image of his Son.

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26.11.07

monday morning melancholy

I shuffle out of bed as the alarm resonates my ear.
I shuffle on the platform as the train vibrates my feet.


My absent, apathetic state demands relief and relaxation. Bypassing my usual glances at familiar faces, i contemplate for a second before opening my laptop to watch Bus 174. In the seclusion of my headphone padded world i am entertained and challenged by the hostage/documentary set in Brazil. The movie concludes as the train draws to a halt. I disembark and begin my walk to the office as a question from nowhere snags my thoughts:

...Does my time belong to me?

I pause to reflect on my usual travel time consumption:
- Sleep
- Work
- Study
- Play
- Outreach
and how my choice between these are largely based on my current mood. Another question prompts my attention:

...Should the usage of my time be dependent on my circumstances?


My mind wrestles with many conflicting thoughts. To summarise these a few hours removed would be premature. However, I can be sure that Jesus desires my time, and my desire should be Jesus.

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22.11.07

election witnessing

Running late for my train i hurried down the slippery stairs towards the parallel tracks. The sight of the pamphlet waver was overtaken by the sound of pneumatic doors clinching tight.

Realising my new found time aboard the platform caused me to turn and greet the election campaigner, Heidi. We exchanged small talk about cityrail's persistence in being disliked, and slowly moved on to more personal likes such as music. She told me about her gig at the vanguard as i was handed a brochure declaring "Kevin 07" in bold writing.

As we shared our coming gigs around town, i mentioned one involving church, hoping to steer the conversation towards Jesus. Heidi followed and began to explain her upbringing in pentecostal services and how this enables her to engage the audience as a harpist. She reflected: "i don't believe in that form of god anymore, but i'm still very grateful for that experience"

A familiar sound in the distance grew louder and louder. i wished time would permit further discussion, but instead the sound of the pneumatic doors greeted me. We exchanged farewells as i darted in the closest carriage. I sat, paused and pondered:
...why did i leave so abruptly?
...what if God was calling me to witness in full?
...what if God had softened her heart?

My what if stance on the hour long journey led me to these conclusions:
- The joys of commuting are the countless opportunities for sharing Christ
- The pitfalls of commuting are the countless opportunities of unresolved witnessing
- My hope should rest not in my ability but in Jesus who sovereignly works in me and without me

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